Sunday, October 7, 2012


As my hearing continues to fade with age like a pair of cheap jeans, I’m heartened to read in the local gazette that the cable television industry is fighting a valiant rear-guard action to water down the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation (CALM) Act.

CALM is due to kick in on December 13th, and the loudness it is intended to mitigate is that generated by TV commercials and promos which blaringly interrupt our viewing in order to better direct our attention to the goods being peddled by the sponsor, or to the merits of the next upcoming program; announcements which often well exceed the decibel level of the interrupted programming.

Were it not for such periodic ear-splitters, however, my nightly after-dinner snooze through prime time would go uninterrupted, leaving me bereft of any challenging water-cooler conversational gambits for the following morning, such as: “how about those Sox‽”

Hence, as a blogger, I resent this attempt by the FCC to deprive me of wide-awake access to subject matter as opportune for parody and ridicule as today’s television programs.

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