A recent report on CBS News suggesting that the dinosaurs were wiped out by a “killer asteroid”, has been challenged by a study released today by the American Sitomania Society (A.S.S.) asserting that what actually accounted for their extinction was an early and disastrous encounter with the now well-known Paleo Diet.
The herbiferous saurians went first, notably the bone-headed dinosaurs (pachysephalosaurs) whose large skull enclosed a very tiny brain, making them easily vulnerable to enticements by wily stone-age Nimrods and antedeluvian GOP operatives.
The feathered ones went next because they tasted like turducken, a gastronomic throwback of cretacious-era origin, recently resurrected by Paula Deen on her hit TV series, "Cooking for the Morbidly Obese", which was, regrettably, cancelled when researchers discovered that her audience was dying off (literally!) faster than it could be replaced with new viewers.
It should be noted here that the Paleo regimen is sometimes confused with the homonymic Palio Diet which is of medieval Siennese provenance and refers to the eighteen unlucky horses that lose the Il Palio races each year, and are then served up to the voracious inhabitants of Sienna as cavallo perdente rustico.